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| Eight Brave Back-Roads on Tour
By Ross Lampert © 2007 by Ross B. Lampert “B-b-b-b-back roads?” he asked. “Wh-wh-what kind of b-b-b-back roads? You mean, you mean, like, d-d-d-d-dirt roads? In-in-in my B-B-B-Bimmer?” So, maybe this chapter member is a little unsure about this idea. “It’s OK,” I said, in my most soothing voice. I didn’t want him to make a puddle on the floor, after all. “I’ve already driven them.” “In what?” he demanded. “A Land-Rover?” “In my car,” I said, still soothing. “It’s an older 3-series. It was fine. The roads are a little rocky—” “ROCKY????” His face went Arctic White (or Arktisch-Weiß, if you prefer). I could see the visions of punctured oil pans, ruptured radiators, and demolished differentials passing before his eyes. “Never mind,” I said. Not the adventurous type, that one. OK, so maybe I need a Plan B, a little dab of civilization to go along with some automotive orienteering. Yeah, that’s the ticket. And so, our chapter back-roads tour on October 13th came to be. (Hmm, maybe it was the date. Note to self: don’t plan anything for Friday the 13th, even if it falls on a Saturday.) First stop for the adventurous and the merely curious was the Tumacacori National Historic Park north of Nogales. Stan Thibault discovered a guided tour starting not long after we’d all assembled (“all” being Stan; Bob Kundert and Gail Kline-Kundert; Len Napier, grandma Mali-cha, and cute-as-a-button baby daughter Annalesse; Quentin Peterson and his friend Julia Olsen; John and Bergit Ranney; Scott Sanson and daughters Rose and Mary; and yr hmbl & obdnt srvnt), so we learned how Jesuit priest Eusebio Kino built the original mission San Cayetano de Tumacacori around 1700 and everything that happened thereafter, including the Park Service taking over the site in 1916. Our brains full of history and our stomachs teased by mesquite bean flour tortillas hand-made right before our eyes on the mission grounds, we head to Tubac for lunch at Shelby’s Bi-stro, where Fred and Ruth Doppelt join us. Suitably fortified, we pass out the chapter’s hand-held radios, synchronize our watches, and… Wait! Fred and Ruth are just here for lunch. Scott has family matters to attend to—a son deposited in Rio Rico that morning. And Len has to go to work. Work? Let’s talk priorities here. Arrh, Cap’n, they’re droppin’ like flies. Fine: we’ll soldier on and enjoy the day without ‘em. But this hardly looks like a BMW ex-pedition any more. Only Stan and I are driving Bimmers. John and Bergit are in a Benz! (Aye, a car worth riskin’.) Bob and Gail are in a Saab. And Quentin and Julia are in her TrailBlazer. Oh, ye of little faith (or lowered suspensions). Right, then. Off we go. Still on paved roads: I-19 to Green Valley and eventually up up up into Madera Canyon. Time permits only a quick pit stop before we complete the run to the top of the road. On the way down, there are spectacular views out into the Santa Cruz Valley (can you believe we climbed this high?) and even a traffic jam at a wild turkey crossing (not the whiskey but the two-legged kind—maybe a dozen of ‘em). Then it’s down down down to Box Canyon Road and finally—FINALLY—we’re off the pavement and onto the back roads. As expected, Box Canyon Road is washboardy and occasionally rocky, but nothing we can’t handle. We pick our way carefully across the water crossings (all dry) with nary a scrape or a rumble. The scenery stays mesquite scrub most of the way but as we climb into Box Canyon itself, the cacti, agaves, and yuccas dominate more and more. A photo-op stop in the middle of the canyon gives us time to enjoy the rugged surroundings and the silence. Once we start again, Stan takes two tries to get around the roughest corner on the tour but his black 3er emerges unscathed. The east side of the Santa Rita Mountains features oaks and pines, and rolling hills and small meadows as we cruise down toward Arizona Highway 83. We decide to skip the side trip to the Greaterville ghost town site and press on for Kentucky Camp. At this point, John runs out of steam so he and Bergit head for home. The road to Kentucky Camp is like Box Canyon Road, so we take our time and reach the parking area with enough sunlight left to enjoy a casual half hour exploring. The state now owns this hundred year old former gold mining camp and is slowly restoring it. There’s even a house you can rent—the “Kentucky Camp Bed and NO Breakfast Inn”—for a secluded and romantic get-away. We get back to the highway, with the sun setting behind us, quicker than we got in but just as we reach the pavement, Stan reports a cry for help from a stranded friend in Vail, so he leaves us, as do Bob and Gail, who have a commitment in town. That leaves Quentin, Julia, and me to finish the day with another fine meal at the Canela Restaurant in Sonoita. We did it—proved non-Xer Bimmers really can take on (carefully selected) Arizona back roads and survive! Special thanks to Stan, Bob and Gail, John and Bergit, and Quentin and Julia for taking the plunge on something we’ve never tried before. OK, OK, and to those who wanted to, but… No problem, y’know? See, there’s this road from Nogales to Montezuma Pass… |